26 December 2010

coup contrecoup: Liberal 'Magic' Seems Religious

BO: Here's how fairness works.  Everybody open up your lunch box and put the contents on my table.
(students clamor to dutifully obey the Leader)
(Fairy Godmother organizes all the sandwiches in a stack, all the chips, etc. desegregating all the lunches into groupings.  She holds up the last sandwich baggie, different from all the rest.  It contains a single cookie.)

BO: Ah, okay.  It looks like we have a cookie in this one.
I took Ronnie's math reward cookie that he worked so hard on ... good job Ronnie on that Oreo (cue applause) ... then I crushed it; then each of you came up to the front and I dropped a cookie bit in your mouth and let you sip from the communal milk cup.
See how that works?  I have taken one cookie and turned it into 30.

Amy: But what about the leftover crumbs?

BO: I've pocketed those for the special ed class and the ESOL class coming next.

Amy: (no response as her stomach growled)

BO: I'll tell you when the next food item is coming.  See up here at the table? There's more than enough for everyone!  You'll get your fair share.  But first I want you to listen to some stories...that will help distract you...

25 December 2010

Yo Ho Ho Ho!

Merry Pirate Christmas!

They thought, those who Liberally planted sirens singing "the children!" or "the hungry!" that they were part of a Robin Hood merry band. Seize the riches! But when the riches are the community well and grain silo, you're not stealing from the evil filthy rich king, but from your neighbor. I ask you Left, is that fair? Is that the common good? Is that the best for the welfare of our nation? Are Progressives just Gypsies creating distraction while Obama 'Blue One' pirates for himself?

As the Democrat party eats itself over the November failure, the honor among thieves is oddly absent.

So, for this man is there any parley?

24 December 2010

States Are Not 'Too Big To Fail'

So now we have some Liberal states who want to take from other states, through the power of the Federal government to tax. More frugal states should not bail out others' bad decisions.  California, for example, should cut services or raise taxes at the state level to pay for what their constituents want.  Federal taxes should go to war efforts and the few other Constitutionally mandated responsibilities.
Liberal states that steal from others using the Federal structure is taxation without representation (and that's not fair, to quote Schoolhouse Rock.)
Lessons from Greece and England: you teach other people how to treat you. The governments there have trained their people to be dependent sheep and now that they need to be weaned a bit, there are tantrums.  It's better to put folks on hard tack and teach them to farm so they can provide for themselves...and others who can't, right?
Pimping Taxes

23 December 2010

The Parable of Noel and the elusive Ice Cream Sandwich

Noel came in around 7:15 and, as always, turned in his lunch money, as required, to his 4th grade teacher.  He then gave her a roll of pennies. Fifty cents that he'd collected from chores he'd done at home.
"That's for ice cream today," he beamed. "It's Friday and I'm celebrating."
"Hey, that's great!" said the Teacher.

Classwork began and around 10:00 the Teacher stepped out of the classroom.  A few minutes later she cleared her throat and asked for the students' attention.
"Children, Noel is celebrating today with ice cream!"  An immediate roar went up as the kids turned to smile and nod approvingly at Noel.

The Teacher reached into the hallway and retrieved a serving tray containing perfectly even slices of ice cream sandwich...each with a handy toothpick.

Noel's heart sank to his stomach.  What was this?  A misunderstanding!  The ice cream money was a treat for himself, not the whole class.  But he stayed quiet and smiled a little at the other happy classmates.

The Teacher passed down the rows, each child taking a single taste of ice cream sandwich.  Noel was happy to see that when the Teacher came to him after the rest had been served, there were several pieces remaining.  He reached to take one and then another.

"Oh, no Noel...take only one.  It's only fair that each student get the same amount."
Unhappily, but quiet, Noel popped the small bit of ice cream sandwich in his mouth and scowled.  But all the other children, whose attention had been turned toward the teacher at this point, nodded in agreement.  None of them were really very happy with the tiny treat after all.  It was just too small to enjoy.

Noel took out a book from home he'd chosen for reading and sank into a story about a red hen.

In a few minutes he saw from his vantage point at the back of the classroom, the Teacher gobbled up the remaining ice cream and tossed away the platter.  Some of the kids were grumbling and playing pirates with the sword-like toothpicks instead of doing school work.
"Children, please put away your toothpicks!" exclaimed the Teacher.  "Those are dangerous!"

After the toothpicks were packed away, most everyone, except Noel, forgot about the morning treat.

The next Friday, Noel brought in two shiny quarters, a gift from Grandma.  "Don't spend it all in one place!" she'd joked.
Noel delivered his lunch money to the Teacher and explained, "This extra fifty cents is for me...just me.  For ice cream.  Okay?"
The Teacher said, without looking up, "I will save this money just for you...yes.  I will put it in the ice cream envelope with your name on it and you can use it at lunch."  But, to Noel she seemed to be distracted by some noisy children.

Sometime around ten, Danielle raised her hand and interrupted the flow of everything by asking the Teacher, "Are we having ice cream again today like we did last Friday?"  She had a toothpick in her upraised hand...found just a moment before in her desk.

"No!" Noel coughed out involuntarily.

The entire class whirled around to glare at Noel.  "That's my ice cream," he said sheepishly.
"Sorry class," the Teacher said, "it seems that Noel doesn't want to share this week."
"Aw!" whined the disappointed classroom.  Ugly glances and snarky comments were muttered under breath all around.
"That's not fair," said Danielle.  "Why does Noel get to have ice cream and none of us?  Make him share!"
The Teacher listened to the grumbling from the class for several minutes before giving in.
"Okay, okay," she said, arms upraised in a quiet-down motion.  "Everyone pipe down and I'll take care of it."
The Teacher swiftly returned after a brief absence with a tray of tiny treats just like the week before.  As she doled out the ice cream, Danielle turned to Noel and said, "you are so selfish...but we got ice cream anyway so..." and out came her ugly pink tongue.
Laughter bubbled up all around as the class jeered Noel because of his selfishness and the tiny treat because it was "lame anyway."  One kid flicked his ice cream at another...and several joined in, making a mess and wasting the treat.

Noel endured the silent treatment from several 'friends' at lunch.  For the second week in a row he had not gotten his ice cream sandwich treat.

The next Friday came and predictably Danielle was the one to raise the morning treat question.
"I'm sorry class.  Noel didn't bring the money for the treat party this week."
An uproar ensued from the entire class.  Spitballs, airplanes, name-calling...angry looks.

The Teacher listened to the grumbling from the class for several minutes before giving in.
"Okay, okay," she said, arms upraised in a quiet-down motion.  "Everyone pipe down and I'll take care of it."
Once again, she passed out tiny bits of ice cream sandwich.
"Noel, we'll just subtract that from your lunch money.  You'll need to skip lunch today or bring in more money on Monday to make up the difference."

"Well, that's not fair," Noel complained.  "I don't have any more ice cream money."

"That's the way it is.  Your class expects this every week now so you need make sure you bring it in."

Frustrated and angry, Noel worked doubly hard at chores and lawn mowing to bring in a dollar on the following Friday.  "Maybe if I bring it more, they'll be satisfied," he thought.

The next Friday, he brought in his dollar and turned it in dutifully.
When the teacher brought in the ice cream mid-morning, there was only one ice cream sandwich cut up.

Noel decided he would eat a big breakfast and never give over his money to the teacher again, no matter how much abuse it meant from the rest of the 'less fortunate.'

22 December 2010

Means Test Those On 'Benefits'? ObamaVille is Cold!

Would those who voted for Hope and Change be willing to give 1/10th of their worldly possessions to the common good? Half? What if, in the mode of fairness, someone came to each home to ensure that you had adequate food, clothing and shelter...but those 'extras' like a big flat screen and a gaming system would have to be sold to pay those bills you seem to need 'benefits' for. This is called 'means testing' and its what Democrats want for those who are retiring.
The safety net has become a culture.  A culture of corruption is not worth saving.
Macon, GA woman complains it is too difficult to get the government to pay part of her electric bill so she can stay warm. Pictured above. Discuss.

21 December 2010

Smooth Criminal Obama Wants America To Walk Like The Rest Of The World

As our Commander in Chief has had the keys taken away after his 2 year joy ride into Socialism, we're left with a dirty car full of cigarette butts, crumpled cans and junk food wrappers.  After we've replaced the stripped gears, burnt parking brake and busted oil pan, we're left with the job of cleaning up the mess and getting things back in order...which will take patience and time.  'Never Again' should be the lesson we've learned.
When new drivers get behind the wheel, they need to be trained in the rules of the road, challenged on test courses and on paper. Proof of insurance and identity must be in the vehicle. A current tag, indicative of taxes paid, must be displayed clearly.
We Americans failed to do due diligence to ensure that the driver had the proper papers and skills. The world cheered at first, but begin to understand, like we do, that the engine of Earth's enterprise has been spiked with sugared gas.  The road forward has been littered with nails and diversions.

As examiners and passengers, we let a smooth-talking criminal jack our car.

13 December 2010

Unions Transforming Into Temp Agencies? ... a rough draft ramble about Economy (and China)

How would you like to have your birthday off? Weeks and weeks of guaranteed vacation? Increases every year at 4 times the rate of inflation. Sounds like a sweet deal? It is, and it's the deal that government employee unions have in a small Detroit suburb.  It's such overpayment, in fact, that the city is seeking bankruptcy protection so it can renegotiate contracts and get out of big debt.
In large municipalities we're seeing the re-emergence of local unions for electrical repair, plumbing and other skill trades.  These unions are beginning to advertise a single number for 'all your needs' and they'll send out a certified, drug-tested, legal, skilled technician right away.
The beauty of these organizations is that they act as a company without having all those pesky corporate regulations, because each worker who shows up, is an independent contractor.  But looky...the union membership dues get you discounts on healthcare, referrals for work, etc.  And if you are sick...no problem, someone else is on the job.  And if you want to take a vacay...no problem, off you go.  And if your rates aren't as discount as the customer expects...well, there's that handshake agreement that all of the guys in that are 'certified' will charge $50 per trip and $75 per hour.  Weird.  No worry about competition.
And those folks who don't want to play ball...well, your union dues can campaign for 'certification' and can advertise in your locality to explain how your competition is small potatoes and shoddy.
And about those teachers' unions who insist that tenure is a better way of retaining teachers pay-for-performance...it depends on your goal? Parents want the best teachers for their kids in government school...unions want control to run the schools like a small prison, with little oversight or information within the community.
President Obama's administration has created a fertile environment for the rise of unions.  The encouragement to work collectively rather than empowering individuals has proved damaging in many aspects of society.  McVictimization of America, or the loss of property, or the inability to provide for family, or the constant worry over what will happen next in the local or broader economy.  Crime up.  Severe weather.  Hard candy Christmas evolving into Black Christmas.  Hopelessness on the rise.
So it makes sense that the brotherhood and solidarity of the collective union is making a comeback.  Safety in numbers appeals to our basest instincts when we're threatened.  The surety of benefits, steady income stream, and guaranteed breaks means less personal risk, less competition, less uncertainty.
Is it any surprise that the unions are appearing to evolve into a membership co-op, blessed with the ability to avoid anti-competitive lawsuits, the ability to undercut the mom & pop standalone shop, and the 'certification' of membership which permits is members to work as much or as little as they desire, ultimately does a huge disservice to the patrons it serves by raising the rates by eliminating competition and rewarding members handsomely.
Will card-check make us all temps? With ObamaCare mandating collectivist insurance, eliminate the last vestige of the employer/employee relationship (remember the gold watch retirement? gone before I came along, how about you?)  Next, we can expect that corporations, overwhelmed with 1099 paperwork, research on the legality of their workforce, and confused by diversity requirements, will seek a temporary and replaceable workforce.  People will swap in and out like cogs of a machine. The Exceptional America will fade into the past like those gold watches and the codependent relationship employees once enjoyed with their employer.  Collectivists seek to replace individual pride and skill with uniformity and predictable inefficiency.  No spark.  No out-of-the-box thinking.  No invention.  How very...Mao.
Could we be on the verge of a huge move toward the virtualization of the American workforce?
Texas windfarm energy, you know that green energy that is supposed to replace that dirty, filthy oil they're pumping there...well, it turns out that the company who'll manufacture the turbines...China.  The company that won the bid to install and maintain the windfarm...in China.  So whose economy are we stimulating with these 'new economy' jobs.
I'm reminded of Sam Walton's vision of "Buy America" back when Wal-Mart was a warehouse club with products on pallets.  I worked for him back then, before the slipstream economy made Wal-Mart the big box of cheap-stuff filled with short-bus screamers.
A prime example of how our nation's gut has changed shows up in the Food Stamp program...now being accepted at fast food locations.  What the, what?  Shouldn't food stamps be there for items that WIC approves? You know milk, cheese, flour...basics...not Taco  Bell.  If these folks aren't working, they have the time to make biscuits and soak beans.  And if we're going to pay for healthcare, should we be handing them a meal ticket for high-sodium, high-fat foods?  Shouldn't they be eating a salad?  Down is up.  Up is down.  Inside out.
Until we as a nation prioritize our need to stimulate the economy at home; empower individuals to earn and spend based on the needs of individual families, we're all temp's renting apartments in the hive of queen Obama's collectivism.

05 December 2010

Lessons in diplomacy from a Little Big Planet

I was watching a kid playing Little Big Planet this morning. This is a socially-enabled game on Playstation 3 which allows each player to build their own challenges or races and visit others who've done the same. It's massive and overwhelmingly clever.
While playing a fun and challenging level, the kid was joined by another player whose character was wearing the iconic Statue of Liberty costume. The kid had chosen an army-style uniform...I had to grin a little at the pride of Americanism in Little Big Planet.
But then something happened that I didn't expect.
During the gameplay, the visitor decided to smack the army guy in the face with her torch. The kid said, "Hey, that's not right" and proceeded to boot the villain disguised as Lady Liberty from the game.
No discussion.
No appeasement.
No questions about why would someone do that or what did I do to deserve it, just...boop.
It seemed like a small epiphany, this archetype of reality. What should we do when someone, disguised in the robes of freedom, smacks us in the face? They get ejected from the game. No questions.
Maybe we should require other countries to prove their affirmation to freedom, equality, and friendliness to the American way before permitting them to enjoy in the riches that result.
Otherwise we can expect our enemies to continue to pilfer the coffers of America and use those in war against us.
Dear Janet...profile.

16 October 2010

Tea Party: Not Constrained By The Moral Majority

In response to a despondent Democrat who asked..."what will this election change anyway."

This election will restore balance...and hope...ending the scythe of tyranny that President One began...4 years of a Democrat Congress is quite enough...the supermajority fumbled everything they touched... I think we can check off the our country's list "vote in black President" and "give Democrats a chance" and now we can actually look at the content of what a President brings to the table and the fiscal soundness of Congressional policy ... right now we can't get a word in edgewise because (shocker) the philosophy of Left won't hear of dissent...exhibit A: Pelosi's ham-handed-hammer.
For the first time since the meltdown, regular Conservative folk see an opportunity that may not come again. Seize control of a runaway government hell-bent on destroying personal responsibility and freedom.  This vote is, by many accounts, the most pivotal vote we'll ever cast.
Many folks stayed home last election as a boycott of the broken system that had failed them.  The price was to permit a sweeping change in the machinery that runs our great nation.  The driver, a 15 year old behind the wheel of a powerful and unfamiliar tool...ready to go for a joy ride.  With the parking brake burnt out, clutch gone and screaming passengers...the Tea Party is applying the as-yet-unbroken...foot brake.

What I like about the Tea Party is that it is not led by an individual...inevitably singled out and covered in mud, no matter who the leader is, they burn out.  As a movement with ideals to eradicate waste, abuse, fraud and snake oil...we promise to impose term limits on any candidate who fails to vote and behave as expected in Congress.  Since Clinton, it's openly acceptable for a Liberal candidate to have no private morals impact his or her public record.  With this tenet in mind, attacks on Christine O'Donnell seem so weak.  Hint, we don't care about that stupid stuff you keep bringing up.  We want her to go to Washington and vote the way we want her to...and when or if she stops, we'll vote her out too.  Career politicians be warned in the era of Tea Party.  This movement is bigger than the sum of its parts.  The leaders are replaceable but the message is clear.  The Tea Party presents an opportunity for Conservatives to let their voice be heard, not by abdicating their responsibility at the poll...but to exercise it for the most Conservative candidate...and to repeat and repeat and repeat this process until the whole face of Washington is replaced with citizens who've balanced checkbooks, made priorities, prepared a payroll, and even been victimized by big government.

Future generations will look back at this healthcare repeal and compare it closely to the end of Prohibition...whose children, oddly enough, a mighty players in this fiasco.

30 September 2010

Parable of McDonald's

Average Joe was travelling through a lonely stretch of interstate turnpike.  A trucker by trade and a hard worker, he stopped off at a favorite exit.  It was a lonesome place housing a singular McDonald’s and no other services.  One way off and one way back on again…meaning you had to cross over the interstate by bridge to get to the restaurant, nestled against a steep, wooded ridge.

“Pretty good racket for the fellow who decided to set up shop way out here,” he thought as he settle his brain for a few quite minutes with a bagel and coffee.  But within moments he heard and felt a loud boom.

Confused and concerned, customers turned their attention to the nearby interstate bridge, now sprinkled with debris and shrouded in dust and smoke.  Apparently a mobile home, being transported at some great speed was too tall for the overpass, had struck the bridge and rocked the entire area.  The customers’ angle made it impossible to see exactly what had happened; they couldn’t make out the details of the wreck below.

After the initial amazement, a few responsive individuals placed emergency calls.  Some were annoyed to have no signal; others got a busy tone…indicating that many folks were trying to report the problem.

It took a few minutes before folks began to realize that the store was now cut off from the rainy interstate, leaving everyone inside stranded for at least a little while.  For the most part, they were fine with that...shit happens.  
But the minutes became hours and the stranded travelers got antsy.  And when people get nervous, they eat.

It seemed the accident outside had taken down the phone lines so credit card transactions couldn't be processed.  Handwritten 'cash only' signs went up.
And sadly, dinnertime rolled around before it became apparent that the authorities had closed down the bridge, too damaged in the wreck for safe passage.  All the customers were trapped at the store with no place to go for what could have been hours, they thought.

Frustrated, Average Joe complained to the manager that many of the folks in the store don't have the 'cash only' required to eat and the smell of fries is overwhelming.

“I typically run everything through my card, and I bet most of the folks here are in the same situation.”

The manager said he’d make a deal.  His employees needed to be relieved as they were stuck too, only at work.  He'd give the man training so he could take orders and earn enough to buy a meal for himself or his family or whomever.

Average Joe happily agreed and soon found himself behind the counter with a name tag.  The restaurant, full of folks with a similar plight and seeing Average Joe's happy solution, yields several more folks to make similar deals with the manager.  A few of the employees complain about losing overtime, but they soon settle down and make a little camp in the covered smoking zone out back.

Average Joe soon tired of standing around.  It seemed that most of the folks in the store had already spent their loose cash and, not knowing how much longer they'd be stranded, had decided to wait and see how the disaster progressed.  Some folks left the store to camp out in their cars, listening to the radio for news, napping...digging up change from the cushions...breaking out some sandwich cookies they'd been saving for little road trip emergencies.

But, pretty hungry now, Average Joe asked the manager if he can grab a burger, some fries and a Coke since they're not busy.  

The manager quickly tallied up Joe’s pay, deducted taxes by hand, and paid the trucker a few dollars in wages from the till.  Joe pays for his lunch, takes a break and enjoys the fruits of his labor.  “What a crazy day,” he thinks.

Before Joe could get back on his feet and behind the register, the manager said, “I’m going to shut everything down for the night.  It’s 9:pm and it doesn’t make sense to run everything 24/7 with this ‘situation’ going on.”  Folks had figured out already that they needed to tuck in; they could sleep in their cars...the restrooms still worked.

It's proved to be a long night. Road crews were brought in to fix the pavement, but a crane was needed to pull the bridge back into place.  The local news from a nearby city said that traffic on the interstate was completely shut down because of the impasse and there was difficulty getting the crane to the site because of all the cars blocking the lanes.  “Hours more, maybe even morning,” they said “before the snafu is cleared.”

Folks settled down as best they could. Kids complained but generally adapted pretty well to the mess.  During short reprieves from the torrential rain, Frisbees were tossed and dogs were walked. Some older men gathered around the edge of the parking lot to point and look at the slow-going rescue and to speculate about what should be done first.

The problems at the store really began about five the next morning...early risers finding bathrooms as prime real estate for ablutions and such.  Making-do with the confined spaces, foul odors, limited resources; some folks shared their moist towelettes and ignored some of the ugly comments made by others who just seemed to want to bitch about the situation.
In the dining room, people lined up for McBreakfast...the bedraggled crew, slow and unhappy about a night’s car-sleep, but working.  Still cash only...the manager allowed folks to pay IOU-style until the credit card and ATM could be brought online.

Then came the power outage.  Road crews had to shut it down since the main line ran through the broken bridge.  The workers can't safely make the repairs with a huge live wire.

The manager made an announcement that since the power was out that they need to go ahead and move the remaining breakfast.  He hung a sign on the walk-in freezer that nobody was allowed to open that door...he needed to preserve the food that was in there.

Without power, the breakfast foods already prepared quickly become cold.  A few sandwiches were left in the chutes...as customers elected to wait it out rather than pay for sub-par food.

When lunchtime rolled around, folks started to prod the manager.  "Hey what are you doing about lunch?"

He responded, "I don't know what we can do really. I mean we've got all these external problems that I can't do anything about.  But here's what I'll do...we're going to do a cold lunch...we'll take the buns and Canadian bacon some cheese from the cooler, make sandwiches, and we'll give everybody one for a quarter.  No need to panic."  He grinned, assuring everybody that things would be just fine.

“It’s not like we can get a Big Mac,” chided a portly teenager.

“No,” the manager said unphased, “I’ve had to remake the menu to fit the times.”  He smiled again reassuringly then disappeared into the back.

The gamey crew along with the new-hires, followed the manager's lead and prepped in the dim light.  Families and individuals filled the store's seats as news of the lunch deal spread.  They shared their little agonies about the situation and wondered aloud about the ridiculous situation.

“I mean, it’s like there’s no escape,” complained the portly teenager, aggravated that his game system battery had died.

“Someone has to plunge the men's toilet again!” joked a biker as he lumbered from the dreaded restroom area sporting wet hair and arms.

The manager and crew brought the sandwiches out, stacked on trays.  They fanned out and distributed, as told, one sandwich per customer… collecting quarters for each sandwich.  “Free water is coming...just hang in there.”

“Someone's searching for the cheap cups,” Average Joe-turned-server remarked.

The Porsche dad told his server, "I'll take two!" and offered two quarters.

"Sorry, we only have enough for one per person," the server responded.

The Porsche dad says, "Yeah, but I have the money."  

"I'm sorry, sir...Maybe later, if there's some left over."  The server moved on after collecting one quarter for each of Porsche dad's family.

The next table had the opposite problem. "Look, my family and I spent all the cash we had in here yesterday. I even have given IOU's to your manager over there.  There are four of us and a baby...can't I just owe you a dollar and a quarter?"

"I can't do that, but I think you can join the crew and be a server too."  

A few minutes later nearly half of the customers had become servers...in fact there were as many members of the crew as there were customers remaining.

"This works out well," explains the manager. "There are jobs for everyone that needs one."

Road work dragged on as monsoon weather moved in and slowed down the Department of Transportation’s ability to fix the bridge.  “A new span has been ordered in pieces and is slowly making its way up the interstate. The road has been closed for miles and many travelers have bailed out, leaving cars in the roadway and picking their way up the embankments to find services,” reported the radio.

But when dinnertime rolled around on Day 2, things were really going to hell.  While the water was still running, there were no more cups to be had.  Most folks had discarded them...only a few old folks who nursed their drinks all day and then save the cups are lucky enough to use the water fountain for anything more than a tepid sip.

The crew had given up their service guise and were hanging out like everyone else.  Garbage went unemptied; floors unswept; tables unwiped.

Huddled from the weather and bored to tears, the roomful of customers and a few crew asked the manager what he was planning to do about dinner when he stepped out of his office.

"Here's the problem.  We've got food, but it's in the walk-in freezer...which I've locked to keep in the cold.  That is only going to last a little while.  Problem is, without power, we really don't have any way to cook for you.  We've run out of cups, as you know, and there's no more bread..."

The crowd murmurs with surprise. "Why?" asks a teenager.

"Well, because I have to feed the crew too.  After we sold you the sandwiches at lunch, I had to make good for all these workers, so they got the bread in the back.  We get a daily delivery for bread; so until a truck can get through…"

Porsche dad interrupted acerbicly, "Did they get to have more than one sandwich?"

At first the manager hesitated to respond, then proudly stated, "This is the hardest working bunch of folks there ever was.  They deserve to be rewarded for their hard work.  They are the ones we count on and I’m looking out for them.”

"Yeah, but I had money."

"Your money's no good here.  This is a special situation," the manager explained in disdain, sensing he must retain control of the situation.  

Porsche dad said, "Okay, well then I guess we all want jobs for the next meal."  Some hoots of agreement piped up from the stale-smelling room.

"Fine, fine.  But know this.  I did not cause this situation.  It was completely out of my control."  He shifted his weight to the other leg and opened his arms apologetically. "Now look...we can't really use the raw meat, but there are several cases of apple pie that will be alright to eat."

The manager’s explanation was interrupted by noise outside.  Strange voices and movement were coming from the vestibule. Migrating across the parking lot a stream were the dirty evacuees.

"We've come off the interstate.  Our bus has been stuck out there since yesterday," a man with a hat said.

"Come in out of the rain," invited the manager.  "Everybody come in!"

"How many are there?" asked a small girl standing in a booth, face pressed against the glass.

"I don't know," said hat-man, "maybe 40 of us and then I think there are a bunch of people from cars too."

"Come on in and squeeze into a seat somewhere," and turning to the crowded restaurant the manager said, "make room everybody."

Of course the same situation occurred at apple-pie-dinner as it had at lunch.  There were many folks who didn't have money, but it seemed only fair to promise them food if they helped serve.  Some were too young or too old or too infirm to work and their IOU's would just go into the basket like everyone else's who didn't have coin enough.

"Look folks, I'm not trying to be an asshole," said the manager, "but I'm not running a charity. I need to get all these IOU's cleared up before we do the apple pies.  When the truck comes later this week, I’ll need money to pay them for the food.”

"He's got lots of money," said a green-eyed man, pointing to Porsche dad.

"Yeah?  So?" responded Porsche dad defensively, eyebrows raised.

The manager said, "That'll work.  How much have you got?"

Porsche exclaimed defensively, "None of your business!"

The manager cajoled, "C'mon.  Everyone here has contributed what they can.  You have lots of money; I can get this food paid for...for everyone… if what they're telling me is true."  A small roar from the crowd included encouragement mixed with jeering for the sportscar-driving man.  "Hand it over," the manager grinned.  

Clapping all around rose from the crowd. “That’s right, do your good deed…feed us!”

Porsche dad reluctantly produced a few bills...then a few more, and returned his wallet to his back pocket.  The crowd seemed satisfied.

"That's it," says the manager counting, "a couple of hundred will feed everybody."

There were too few seats to accommodate the now-endless stream of refugees coming from the highway.  A few, after having used the facilities, decided they might be better off back in their car...and left.  The majority though stayed.  The manager put some to work in the bathrooms, on the floors, serving others water and boxed cookies for a dime.  But when the food ran out around 8 that night, the mood changed.

"It doesn't matter how much money you've got," the manager said angrily to Porsche dad, "I can't make food appear out of thin air."

The crowd was getting rowdy.  Hungry, tired, dirty and no place else to go...small factions from the road, from the parking lot, folks who had been stranded at the store first...all began to form.  Fear set in as they began to realize that this was the new reality.

The store was out of food.  Money was no good.  An enterprising soul was selling toilet paper at $5 a square and laughingly calling it conservation.  Most retreated to their cars and locked the doors...and even the store's crew bailed out.  The restaurant had nothing more to offer.  Their jobs were intact but they couldn't provide services at any price because the store didn't actually create food just serviced it.

When the manager announced that the next step would be to get everyone to bring in everything out of their cars and put it in a big pile inside the store (so it could be shared by everyone who needed something) cars began to disappear.  Folks drove out of the parking lot and down a small dirt service road.  They knew it was a dead end, but they felt they could manage on their own.  The hardiest planned a foot escape over the mountain.  They produced guns from their trucks and explained how to field dress a deer to their new survivalist followers.

Frustrated by the lack of progress on the road disaster, the next day, the manager unlocked the freezer and announced that since there appeared to be no end in sight and because no power was restored and because no more food was coming, folks could take what they needed.

But what had been a fairly calm and orderly crowd devolved immediately into an angry, hungry mob who destroyed the store searching for food.  When they found nothing edible, they smashed windows and doors...destroying the one thing that was left, a shelter from the monsoon outside.

Then they all left.  All the howling people went back to wait out the road work or to hope and pray that aid would come from somewhere else.  The promise of the golden arches, once shining brightly, a beacon of hope, had become a rancid wreck...a symbol of despair and embarrassment.  It would need to be razed and a new building would have to be made...but not until the interstate cleared.

When the rescue chopper came, the manager was still there, busy in his locked office, tallying up the good karma he’d earned making sure that folks had affordable food and shelter.  His personal stash of canned soup and bottled water and Snickers, several weeks worth, continued to sustain him and would have for some time to come.

27 July 2010

Future Headline: Generation X saves the United States

More educated, tech-savvy, old enough to remember the values and strength of Reagan, the fall of the Berlin Wall and the USSR, Generation X rose to lead America back from the brink of financial ruin.  Empowered by voters ready to see the victory of a black President (and it was about time, wasn't it?) and unhappy with a quagmire war in the Middle East, Barack Obama and the Democrat Congress pushed through a dreamtime agenda.  Leftists had chills running up their legs and spine as their utopia approached.
Except it didn't.
Anyone who had ever balanced a checkbook could see that borrowing 41 cents on every dollar to pay for the Democrat Christmas list, a crashed economy, 10%+ unemployment, billions in 'simulus' spending failing to jump start the economy, poor foreign policy, out-of-touch domestic policy, and failure to deal promptly with the BP oil well explosion stirred the Gen-exxer's to action.
Massive government expansion into the private sector, taking over auto, healthcare and banking; then eyeing retirement accounts and massive tax increases spurred action.  Tax-and-spend Democrat policies spurred action.  A failure to acknowledge the failure of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac loans in the mortgage meltdown spurred action.  2.7 million jobs lost since the stimulus bill passed spurred action.  Allowing the Bush Tax Cuts to expire spurred action.  The exposure of motor-voter and Leftist activists signing up folks in unemployment lines to make sure they keep getting a check (they don't have anything better to do) spurred action.  Old hippie Code Pink women embarrassed them and spurred action.  Refusal of the Federal Government to protect borders spurred action.  And the ideal of Obama...to tear down America and replace it with a European socialist country spurred action.
The Generation X voters knew government is a service industry; government schoolteaching is a service industry.
It was time to restore fiscal responsibility and ensure that Socialists are beaten back with their tails between their legs.

26 July 2010

Leg thriller: Obama to take Tball questions on the view

Joy O Joy. Will O44 have time for daytime talker after news of tax hikes, more vacations (30 rooms in Spain), and a 30k plate birthday fundraiser.

24 June 2010

The Lazy Sunbathers

Oil Well Destroys National Treasure while hapless President fiddles his way through teardown checklist.
Headed to the gulf beaches? Bring Goo Gone. Don't go. Goo is poison.


21 June 2010

Dark Mark spreads: oil gusher engulfs President

Perhaps it is a wake up call for liberals, but we see now that the Annointed One cannot do miracles...or lead. So what are we to do?

18 June 2010

Tar Baby ain't saying nothin

PrezBo destroying allies ties in oil slick inaction; can NATO matter
again? What of Middle East new friends in China and Russia? Can a
nuclear threat be far behind between the hostilities of Arabs nations,
India, and Israel...not to mention the loose nukes of the Soviets.
Mutually Assured Destruction worked as a deterrent in the Cold War
because both sides had too much to lose. Napoleonic complexes and holy
wars throw out reason and return us to the era of kamakaze zeroes. Too
bad we have failed to carry the torch the Greatest Generation fought
so hard to keep lit.
We are indeed at an inflection point ... What an understatement. The
emphasis is on thug life and how America has become home of the knave.

15 June 2010

Ottomon Empire: time the 300 stood for Sparta around here, footstool

25 May 2010

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Maybe the folks who are paving the way for the ground zero mosques are trying to protect the heart of the city from a future Muslim attack. Way to go. Islam 1 Freedom -5000

18 May 2010

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Redistribution of speech = campaign finance reform?

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If Congress can require banks to put their terms and conditions in plain Engish, should we not require an executive summary of legislation...also in plain language. Find out what's in it? Neither Janet napalitano or Eric Holder has read the 7 page Arizona bill...who is writing the laws the Congress won't read?

13 May 2010

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Jews feel swindled by Obama

Crocodile tears for Karzai

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Fungus hits Afghan opium poppies

A serious disease has hit poppies in Afghanistan, driving up opium prices in the region, UN officials tell the BBC.

Obamamaniamedia confused that Americans are against lawlessness

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NBC Astonished Poll Finds Most Support Arizona Law and Anti-Terror Profiling; Skip GOP Surge

NBC News Political Director Chuck Todd seemed astonished by how a new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll confirmed solid agreement with Arizona's immigration enforcement law – "a whopping 64 percent support the law," Todd marveled, "and we read them the law verbatim exactly as it's been written" and still, he repeated, "64 percent approve of it."

Disappear the mongrel camelrider

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NY Times Columnist Compares to al-Qaeda Leader to Jesus, Flatly Rejects Jihadism Had Anything to do With Times Square Bomb Plot…

Warning on this one, the rage factor is off the charts. NYT columnist Robert Wright goes so far as to implore Obama not to kill Anwar al-Awlaki, who he then compares to Jesus Christ all while putting the blame for jihadism on America. And people say liberalism isn't a mental disorder…

(NYT)- One fate the conservative commentator Daniel Pipes doesn't have to worry about is drowning in conceptualcomplexity. He keeps his theories simple. His theory about why Faisal Shahzad tried to blow up a bomb in Times Square last week is "jihadi intent."

Pipes writes dismissively of other explanations — that Shahzad is emotionally unstable, say, or that the bomb was payback for American military action in Pakistan. In Pipes's universe, apparently, these explanations are rivals to the "jihadi intent" explanation, and couldn't figure in an account of how Shahzad came to have jihadi intent in the first place.

Jeffrey Goldberg of The Atlantic seems to agree that jihadism is a kind of prime mover of terrorism. After bloggers noted that Shahzad had lost his home to foreclosure, Goldberg rejected the idea that "the country's financial crisis, and not, say, jihadist ideology, is at the root of Shahzad's desire to commit murder in Times Square."

I'd like to invite Pipes and Goldberg to imagine an alternative universe, a universe in which behaviors — such as planting a bomb — don't have a single "root" cause. In this universe, bomb-planting behavior is kind of like the bombs themselves: a number of ingredients have to come together before things get explosive. If you figure out what those ingredients are, and which of them you can control, maybe you can make bomb-planting behavior less common.

In the universe I'm positing, the following scenario is conceivable:

A Pakistani guy moves to America, goes to college, gets a job, starts a family. He grows unhappy. Maybe he's having financial problems (though I'm skeptical, for reasons outlined by Charles Lane here, that Shahzad's home foreclosure actually signifies as much); or maybe the problem is just that he doesn't find his social niche. And maybe he was a bit unstable to begin with — which would make it harder to find his niche and might intensify his reaction to not finding it.

Read my lips: Liar!

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WH Budget Director Peter Orszag: Obama Never "Pledged" Not to Raise Taxes, He Simply "Preferred" Not to Raise Them…

I just looked in the mirror and like I thought, "dumbass" wasn't stamped on my forehead, Mr. Orszag should look a little harder next time…

(PP)- White House Budget Director Peter Orszag, grilled about Obama's pledge not to raise middle-class taxes, left the president wiggle room. Lloyd Grove reports.


Remember President Obama's supposedly inviolable pledge—repeatedly uttered during the 2008 campaign and at countless town meetings since the inauguration—that he would never raise taxes on middle-class citizens who earn $250,000 a year or less?


This morning at a Manhattan breakfast sponsored by Thomson Reuters, White House Budget Director Peter Orszag threw that pledge out the window. Instead, he described Obama's "read my lips, no new taxes" pledge as a "stance" and a "preference" that is subject to study by the president's newly-formed bipartisan Commission on Fiscal Responsibility.

"The president has been very clear about what he prefers,"Orszag said under questioning from Thomson Reuters' Chrystia Freeland.

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Obama O gathers moss

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Or maybe female urinals should be widely used...just like men have it, no stall, no paper, incredible stench, and uncomfortable silence. Mount up ladies. 

12 May 2010

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If the flag of the United States is MexiOffensive, we need to pull down all the Obama hope banners...you know with the Obama O and the flag underfoot like a field plowed under? 

10 May 2010

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May 9, 2010 OTP Atlanta Publix

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May 10, 2010 OTP Atlanta   Kroger


I don't understand why it suddenly seems that stores in my town are courting Hispanics. Products are being 'faced out' with the Spanish side facing the shopper. Is this some movement?

07 May 2010

Should California students riot against Mexicans carrying American flag?

What a ridiculous row over the flag and her colors this week.  The school system in California really needs some additional scrutiny and wow they got it this week...and not in a good way.  In the Republica del Norte things are more upside-down that Alice in Wonderland.
While standing in line at a Publix pharmacy, I had a lot of time to have a look at the fully stocked items which line the shelves right by the cash register.  Somehow, someone had faced-out every product in such a way that the 'spanish side' of the product was facing front...and that was a lot of product.  It probably took just a minute or two for someone to do, but the message was effective.  I felt briefly like a stranger in a strange land.
I determined right there not to buy any product that is presented with the 'spanish side out' at any retailer at any time.  I think the old 'Made In America' logo that made Wal-Mart a household name instead of a small discounter needs to make a serious comeback as well.  Wal-Mart is no longer 'buy American'...maybe they should be.

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MoneyQuake man caused diaster...fiscoterror?

04 May 2010

Times Square a penetration test?

It seems to me that most folks are baffled by the gross errors made by accused bomber Faisal Shahzad.  We have the inability to set a clock.  Filing off the VIN in only one place.  Leaving a truck illegally parked in the bus lane with the flashers on...smoking.  The wrong type of fertilizer to  ignite.  Buying a vehicle for cash.  Using a disposable cellphone which can be traced.  Being on camera.  Buying a ticket at the last minute for cash.

There is a method for testing the security of a network connection called a penetration test.  You try all the standard attack vectors to make sure they are secure...it's like going around the outside of your house and checking all the windows and doors after you've locked it up.

Perhaps this clown has nothing to lose...maybe his family is being threatened in Pakistan...who knows?  But maybe al Qaeda is testing us to see what we see and what we don't.

Jackboot on the throat of BP but not on Muslim extremism

What we heard yesterday:
Why the willful blindness?  Bloomberg suggests that the Times Square bomber would be a disenfranchised American.  The video showed a 'white guy.'  Homegrown, mentally deranged person.  Somebody who doesn't like the health care bill.

What we know today:
Got right on UAE plane at airport
US Arrests SUV owner
Democrat, family man in foreclosure
Times Square Bomber is a Muslim
changed shirt because he was hot
Pakistani import
Bloomberg will not tolerate bias or backlash against Pakistani

03 May 2010

Democrat Amnesty plan is a racist policy!

Is it unfair to those who are obeying immigration laws, waiting their turn to flip a switch and permit 30 million non-resident Hispanics to access the United States' resources?
The move to legitimize 'undocumented workers' the same level of racism as is used by the Arizona immigration law...it simply differentiates this group by the color of their skin and heritage.

Stepping in the oily slick

I really offended some facebook friends when I mentioned that FEMA had not responded at all.  It turns out they work peripherally for the agency...and of course, I assumed, if this isn't what FEMA is for (a multi-state natural/man-made disaster) then what IS it for, right?  But it turns out that the FEMA guidelines are strictly dependent on what the governors and President do.  They all have to declare states of emergency.
For instance, the police don't prevent crime...that's not what they do.  They are there to arrest the perp after the crime is committed.  Strictly speaking they don't protect and serve.
FEMA is a reactionary agency and until a disaster blooms to a certain magnitude, they don't respond.
It would be like a fire department that doesn't respond to a house fire until the whole house is fully engulfed and they are there to keep the fire from spreading to the neighborhood.
Or maybe it's more like a nuclear cleanup crew who don't get called in until the leak escapes from the plant, so they stand around until the meltdown is fully engaged.
It's shockingly short-sited, I think, to decide not to respond to a disaster that can potentially spiral out of control.
With the full force of the world's greatest military out our control, we should be able to cap an oil well, protect our border, and destabilize militant dictators intent on our destruction.

Cementing by Halliburton gone wrong?
North Korean sub blew up oil rig?
SWAT teams were not sent; Obama used hyperbole
Houston luncheon US Dept of Interior was about to give 'outstanding safety and pollution prevention' award to BP?
Earth Day, Gulf of Mexico set afire and undersea oil well explodes
Fire hoses sank the oil platform?

24 April 2010

Sugar Tax in NY offsets healthcare costs for obesity?

What other behaviors might be curbed to offset ObamaCare costs?

  • Eliminate wasteful spending on unnecessary expenditures: 
    • preventive reproductive health for anyone over 40 banned except for sterilization
    • no more expensive dental and dermatological procedures...elective medicine redacted from government  coverage

  • Sex Tax - raise taxes on all sex-related gear except condoms and sterilization procedures...the racier, the higher the tax...bondage bonus tax...particularly high rate for dangerous sex toys... a commission will need to be formed to evaluate this
  • Poo Tax - make all toilets require quarters
  • Door Tax - make all doors require pennies to open
  • Food Tax - raise taxes on carbohydrates and fat, encouraging consumption of healthy vegetables; no tax on animals you grow, slaughter and eat yourself
  • Interstate Tax - raise taxes on the federal highway system...every vehicle over 4 wheels must pay a tax; this will encourage folks to grow food locally; manufacture locally; etc.
  • AIDS Tax - gay marriage license requires forfeiture of all worldly goods to pay for long-term medical care if either partner gets HIV
  • Cat & Dog Tax - Untethered animals may be rounded up and used to feed the homeless within any city limits
  • Freedom Tax - For those who decide to throw up their hands and mooch off the state they get free room and board by moving into currently abandoned military bases which will be activated to provide food, clothing, shelter.  Some communal service will be required to cook and clean for the compound.  May leave when ready to work again.
  • Poll Tax - You must present your income tax payment receipt from the prior tax year before being permitted to vote.  Deposit slips from refunds are not accepted.
Of course I'm kidding...right?  Never in America.

23 April 2010

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Deodorant has been linked to breast and other cancers (aluminum). Will we stink like French under ObamaCare.

Obama's Fiscal Backwardness

While everyone was squealing about the VAT discussion this week, I was taken aback by a small comment found in the CNBC interview with the President.  His comment reveals that there is indeed no limit to the size and scope of what the federal government should do under Obama.
If I go to purchase a home, I have to figure out what I can afford and balance that with what my family needs.  What the government is doing is building a house without a floorplan...adding room after room without any constraint to how big or how expensive the house should be.
What we should be doing is determining what we need and can afford, then setting taxes to pay for those services...not the other way 'round.

...you know, we have a baseline of the core services that we need and the government should provide. And then we decide how do we pay for that....

Slick Willy slanders Tea Party as Obama shill

I've been thinking a funny idea for a web site would be: Things The Blue Dress Saw

Boobquake against Iran on Monday

Please encourage public displays of cleavage on Monday in order to disrupt Iran's nuclear ambitions.  Containment is difficult with all that shaking around.  Leaders in Iran have already notified the masses to leave the quake area due to various states of undress.

Western jigglyhad underway.

Thin is in

You can eat shit and still lose weight...as long as you don't eat your own shit.  ObamaCare will surely lock on to this procedure as a way to reduce obesity in America.

Boston Tea is for Terror? Mudslinging Leftists

God and Guns forever.

Urban vs. SubUrban

It seems to me that the Tea Party and ACORN illustrate an evolving divide between the philosophies of the urban dwellers and those who live outside metro areas.  When folks are accustomed to living in large cities, they must learn to adapt to more communal living than those who reside in places with more elbow room.  This sense of community can be quite strong...an extended family almost...and when this way of life is threatened, even rhetorically, city dwellers get very defensive.
But folks tend to live in areas where they feel safe and where they fit in.  When folks hear 'spread the wealth around' they either hear 'get stuff for free' or 'tax me more.'  If you believe that society owes you something you'll hear the former.
Why is it that urbanites lean Left while the rest of us are more conservative.  I believe it's because the liberal mindset promotes interdependence while conservative views promote independence.  With this is mind, personal responsibility falls right and the blame game falls left.
I feel like the liberal mindset is childish...the product of too much mental circle-jerking on campuses.  The real world requires one to learn how to take care of oneself.  We get nanny state 'stability from the Left or free market competition and uncertainty from the future.  Americans should have the ability to pursue opportunity in the face of uncertainty.  Og said attitude determines altitude, right?  But you can have upward mobility without propulsion in the first place.
Stagflation is on our doorstep.  The voodoo economics we thought were buried in the 80's have been awoken with the Obama zombies.
The scary thing about the Opacalypse is that as the economy capsizes, the folks who will drown first will be those who have no idea how to take care of themselves.  The best thing we can do for ourselves is to be self-sufficient, armed, stocked-up, wood-chopped and ready to enter the new frontier after the waters recede from the ark.