31 July 2015

BACFA Annual Fall TV Preview Part One (ABC, CBS, FOX)

One again I am going to take a hard look at the upcoming fare from the entertainment hose before I drink from it.  I encourage you to dig in before letting kids, or unknowing adults, become polluted with Leftist ideas they'd come to view as normal.  Last year I went down this trail and couldn't get beyond the puke offerings on ABC.  I will try to do better this time.  And before we begin, let me say I'm a fan of Lynda Carter's "Wonder Woman" and the new Marvel universe, remember when "Man From Atlantis" was pre-empted by Watergate coverage, saw the Cure at Lakewood in the fog and think Mr. Robot, while wildly inappropriate for children, is a fantastically gritty cyberpunk show that reminds me how cool working in the computer field is...even when non-technical people have no idea what you do. Despite this I am extremely anti-pharma, pro Constitution, conservative & am disappointed with the political party (singular) our country has.  It's from that mental place I review the entertainment upstream.

Let's start again with the House of Mouse, ABC.  For context, let's remember that this group is responsible for thoroughly hijacking The Family Channel into something that could be from a hellish looking-glass dimension.  When "Modern Family" and "Scandal" are the power players, we may have to send up extra prayers.

Without further ado:

"Of Kings And Prophets" -- In a feeble attempt to reclaim the eyes of those offended by most of the tripe on ABC, the programmers have turned to the Bible for inspiration...or so it seems.  The trailer for this new series should let you see up-front that the Bible merely provides a sketchy backdrop.  What appears to be a liberal blaspheming of 1 & 2 Samuel will be littered with skin, seduction, gory war & intrigue.  Hint...the people who are interested in the Bible already know the real story and how it all works out.  I wish I could give ABC credit for trying to appeal to the religious majority in America...but the pander is clearly going for a Game Of Thrones crowd, just instead of co-opting European history, we're going to mine the Old Testament & remix it.  Decision?
Going to skip it.

"The Muppets" -- Considered a premiere family-friendly show in the 70's, this update bring the time-worn characters into a modern setting that looks strangely like the American version of "The Office."  I found it a bit hilarious how Miss Piggy seems to have gained weight and looks like an aging Jennifer Anniston...the promise of the show is to feature even the most sidelined characters. I spotted a few favorites but I wonder if we will actually get to see the "Bork Bork Bork" of Swedish Chef or if this is going to wind up being some "30 Rock" with puppets.  Despite it's attempt to skewer the politically correct and/or reinforce it, because of childhood-embedded fondness...Decision? I'm going to ignore that Gonzo means something different now.
Going to try it.

"The Real O'Neals" -- I decided to look at this one because I liked Martha Plimpton in another comedy. She seems to reprise the same role, however. It appears that this show will feature 'how our family escaped our oppressive conservative values into happiness.'  It is a very sad attack directed at Catholics and Irish Americans and will be another in a long line of gay-themed shows.  You see, ABC doesn't believe that conservative family culture is worth preserving when there are so many other values they'd rather promote.  I predict someone will go to hell for writing the script.
Going to skip it.and pray for Disney employees' souls.

Couldn't be less interested in "Blood & Oil," "Wicked City," "Dr. Ken," or "The Catch."  Derivative filler; pedantic.

"Uncle Buck" -- Yeah...from the folks who thought "Blackish" was not racist comes another honky-tooter. Steal a John Candy storyline and colorize it. How insulting a phone-in is that?  Another way for ABC to check off it's diversity percentage list, diss conservative culture and the 80's as too white, and have fun talking about the good old 70's when ludes were king and men were kids.  Decision?
This low-brow baby should have been aborted... skip it.

"Quantico" -- We get our adult theme right out of the gate as the empowered femme fatale has a casual encounter with a stranger. Some familiar faces and some fresh ones in this diversity-driven drama (the pilot features the pantheon of archetypes.)  Falsely accused of terrorism a new federal agent with an accent must prove her innocence..doesn't know who to trust... Oh wait, it's a less-white copy of Covert Affairs shot in a higher-speed film and with an act of terrorism as the backdrop. Look, I lived 9/11...I want my entertainment to be about something else.
Going to skip it since I have enough real drama watching RepubliCrats spend our future CSPAN.

"Angel From Hell" -- Not your grandmother's "Touched By An Angel" ... no we get Glee's gym teacher Jane Lynch as a degenerate guardian 'angel' bent on steering her charge into...what? This is the basis of a sitcom? Yuck. Custom cut for saggy-titty hippies who now find themselves alone & ready to meddle with the aimless generation because they have no life due to their youthful choices. My choice?
No chance in hell. skip it

Code Black (yet another medical drama...how long since ER now..St. Elsewhere?), Not even gonna

"Life In Pieces" -- Okay, I guess when you're the Aging Eye network it must make sense to launch a Dianne Wiest / James Brolin dramedy about losing youth.  As for me and my house...we're going to live our own life moments...not this invented dookie. Do not go quietly into the dark...  skip it

"Limitless" -- A seriously pro-drug feature for the first generation of Viagra users. This serialized version inspired by the movie seems to say 'take good drugs...they'll make you beautiful, young, powerful & Alzheimer's-free.' As a sci-fi / tech fan, it smells to me like this show wants us to 'relax into it' whatever it is 'it' is.  I'm curious to see just how far this thinly-veiled pro-drug plot will go so I will probably try it.  Maybe there's a cautionary tale or some redemption involved.

"Supergirl" -- Even more than "Limitless" I was surprised to hear that DC Comics had released Supergirl to the big Eye network, especially as it seems "The Flash" (which I really like) and "Arrow" (which I got bored with) are doing fairly well on the CW. So what does it seem that Superman's cousin is doing on an old-people network? Ah... I see. I will try it because in the lengthy trailer I feel hope that America remembers why these childhood icons worked before.  Yes, there is some girl-power angst thrown in there...some misunderstood illegal alien undertone peppering...and we get a black Jimmy er, no apparently that's not respectful enough, JIM Olsen instead of a ginger for Kara to moon over.  Despite the fresh coat of paint, I think this is going to be a big hit...and DC has an opportunity to bring back the good guys if they'll just take on Marvel. I'm a lot disappointed that the trailer makes it seem that the show will be Superman with replacement characters...Kara needed her own story.  Calista Flockhart as liberal "Devil Wears Prada" skeleton still seems to be worse than stogie-fan Perry White, who is black in the latest Superman incarnation too.  Political Correctness may kill "Supergirl." I can't imagine we'll hear 'Truth, Justice & the American Way' since those words no longer have meaning.

Increasingly poisoned by the left, Fox challenges the sensibilities with the following:

"Bordertown" -- Wow. The reason that "The Daily Show" et al cannot sell ads any more is because it's hard to laugh about the unemployment rate when you're hungry & watching "The Daily Show" on someone else's couch.  It's from this place that "Bordertown" springs. Freshly pooed from the mind that gave you "Family Guy" Seth MacFarlane figures he can insult everyone at once and get a gold star. He's probably not wrong. But I'm not giving this thing a chance.  Nothing is more hilarious that deportation follies? Skip It

"The Frankenstein Code" -- This looks promising. We get a cop / mystery blended with some tampering with nature...with little downside apparently.  The story looks pretty familiar...second chances, super abilities, justice served, wrongs made right...etc. I don't hate seeing good triumph over evil...hard choices, etc.  I hope they stay noble with the story.  I will try it.

"Grandfathered" -- no John Stamos.  Like Celine Dion, that's an immediate channel changer.  "The Grinder" -- unappreciated professional deals with better-looking, more-successful brother. Who needs angst like that?

"Lucifer" -- Well, let's get right to it then. A guyliner-wearing Brit with the immortal charm to elicit humanity's darkest desire lands in the City of Angels after giving up his king-of-Hell routine.  From the brain of Jerry Bruckheimer, this "Supernatural" wannabe spins up a tale where Lucifer Morningstar helps solve crime in Los Angeles. Breathtaking.  I almost don't know what to think.  This is such a hellishly bad idea that it just might work.  I think the real danger or maybe the real lesson here is that yes, the Big Bad is slick and seductive and everything we pay Hollywood to whore out for us. I wish they hadn't canceled Constantine. So.... I just don't know...so I will try it.

"Minority Report" -- Pre-crime, thought-crime, destiny. Spielberg's reworking of Phillip K. Dick gets another revision.  This is just the type of storyline we need right now.  Millennials will watch it because it's cool and futuristic; us older folks will watch it because it's silver-age sci-fi that asks pertinent questions about the nature of man, free will and police states.  Can't wait to watch it.