- Eliminate wasteful spending on unnecessary expenditures:
- preventive reproductive health for anyone over 40 banned except for sterilization
- no more expensive dental and dermatological procedures...elective medicine redacted from government coverage
- Sex Tax - raise taxes on all sex-related gear except condoms and sterilization procedures...the racier, the higher the tax...bondage bonus tax...particularly high rate for dangerous sex toys... a commission will need to be formed to evaluate this
- Poo Tax - make all toilets require quarters
- Door Tax - make all doors require pennies to open
- Food Tax - raise taxes on carbohydrates and fat, encouraging consumption of healthy vegetables; no tax on animals you grow, slaughter and eat yourself
- Interstate Tax - raise taxes on the federal highway system...every vehicle over 4 wheels must pay a tax; this will encourage folks to grow food locally; manufacture locally; etc.
- AIDS Tax - gay marriage license requires forfeiture of all worldly goods to pay for long-term medical care if either partner gets HIV
- Cat & Dog Tax - Untethered animals may be rounded up and used to feed the homeless within any city limits
- Freedom Tax - For those who decide to throw up their hands and mooch off the state they get free room and board by moving into currently abandoned military bases which will be activated to provide food, clothing, shelter. Some communal service will be required to cook and clean for the compound. May leave when ready to work again.
- Poll Tax - You must present your income tax payment receipt from the prior tax year before being permitted to vote. Deposit slips from refunds are not accepted.
Of course I'm kidding...right? Never in America.
